Hard Times

Rotting up against the solid brick wall is where I shall lay, watching my body and soul slowly strip and decay. My surroundings are empty, just as the life I've dealt myself over and over again. My foolishness has filled me with unnecessary rage. alongside comes the lies and deceit I've layed over and over again, for now the tables are turned against my secluded ways. Now the truth be exposed and used as a tool to play mind games, chipping away at me one by one untill theres nothing left. I sit here in my own sweat and shit, the aroma of my own bullshit sickens me. Everything seems meaningless at this point, I have no dignity, no trust, no reason. I can only question my past, present, and future, none of which I can come to an understanding. Compelled to combine two worlds into one with hopes of mending the present, the past still conquers all. Learning is not an option, I knew better from the start, but I am selfish and secluded with the time I give to myself. My lips have laid enough pain to damn my own soul to hell for eternity, and here I sit, in my own sweat and shit, waiting for that day.

Blog Spam (Post #2)

Yea... so I was shopping last week and found these SWEET ass chair that matches absolutely NOTHING in my house what so ever.... I bought it and slapped it in the side of my bedroom... I think it defines me pretty well... goofy, out of place... and very very odd =D

Random Writing

Ooooh yusss! It's time for a much needed update. Sorry I've left you alone so long blog *pets*. 'rolls eyes @ self and moves on'. So the past 2 weeks have been pretty amazing if I do say so myself. I've been having a blast as usual, not to mention some joy has been brought back into my SL =D

Other than meeting a ton of new friends while I was off work for almost a week, I also met a lady friend as well. We've hung out the past week and a half and it's been fun and memorable to say the least. It's also been quite a different experience for me considering I haven't been on the "market" in almost 2 years, so it was a little new for me to be out on the SL dating scene again. Although I didn't click well with Fel on a few levels, I still had fun and hope that soon we will at least be friends. It's amazing how head over heels someone can get in just a short period of time, but after all this is SL and I've seen it several times, just never expected to be apart of one of those types of relationships. It was short and sweet as well as fun... just don't see myself getting that involved so quick, I guess I'm semi old fashioned in SL and like to take my time with a friendship before moving on to a more serious path, but it happens. We live, we learn, and we move on. =) She'll still be a good friend in due time.. I hope anyways :p

Moving on... I've lately been getting myself into my FPS mode again (first person shooter) but... instead of other games.. I've actually found it in Second Life which is pretty cool. I know as well as anyone that it's always been there, I've just never gotten into it until my recent purchase of a zombie spawner and a few new guns. And since I recently moved back to my old 8196 plot with all those extra prims... I have the space to have some fun =D So a few days ago me n Azzy split the cost for the zombie spawner and rezzed it on ground level... whipped out our guns and had a blast. One of my newest guns is the Breach L96 Sniper Rifle... in which I am in <3 style="text-align: center;">

Headshots & Snipers FTW!

And of course... Hand an assman a gun and see where he aims....


A nice pic Azzy took of us during the Zombie Bash.

So zombie shooting is hella fun for those of you ho haven't tried it.. I love all my new toys xD Will definitely give me something to do when I'm at home just farting around.

And speaking of new toys... Fel bought me a bike with her CC Customs giftcard and I am absolutely in love with the damn thing... it is pure perfection in all ways... at least through my eyes. I've spent the last several days on it playing around on random biker sims as well as riding around at home rubbing the back tire all over some zombie faces with Azzy. That pretty much sums all my fun action up tho, as you can see... I've had a blast.

On my last little note... I guess I was destined to lose all of my old SL friends to other games or random misfits. A good friend kind of spazzed out on me the other day. I didn't talk to her for about 5 days because I was off having the loads of fun mentioned in the previous paragraphs, but on top of that she wasn't around much either, she stays pretty busy and not to mention she plays WoW now so go figure... but she popped into SR and I sent her an IM asked her how things were going and completely stunned the hell out of me when she just went off on me. I guess she saw me dancing with Fel and assumed all sorts of things, pretty typical in SL tho. It wasn't a total shocker coming from her, but shocking enough to see it directed towards me for a change. I stayed rational of course and dealt with it the best I could, but I've heard through the grapevine that I'm not the only she went off on so it did make me feel a bit better... sounds like a string of bad luck so of course... I won't hold it against her, we all have our moments. I even waited a day to see if she had cooled off but she seemed pretty upset by the minor situation and was still pretty extravagant with her one and only comment. She was the last of the old remaining friends I had left in SL so I guess it's a sign to get out and meet more people.

So as you can see my SL is going through another one of those random changes.. it gets good, then bad, then good and bad at the same time. Seems like a constant thing these days but I will adapt as usual =D

<3 Noodle

<3 Holidays

So here I sit eating Salisbury Steaks and drinking Diet Dr. Pepper. I'm rather bored now just listening to music at home which I have recently finished furnishing. Those of you that saw my latest post probably noticed it was pretty damn empty. But I spent a good bit the other day as well as this morning filling the house up with decor and I must say I am impressed with my own work in a not so conceited way, I love the way it looks because it just feels so cozy and err "warmish"? haha. I doubt I will be posting pics of it but if this boredom continues I most likely will. Those of you that have stopped by my new home to check it out as well as criticize, compliment, and or attempt to trash it... I thank you so much =D I've loved all the ideas and have tried to incorporate as much of it as I could into my home and I just love it =D Those of you who have not seen it and would like to, you are more than welcome to send me an IM and ask for a tour, I am rarely, if ever, too busy to not do so. Big Thanks to Deede for fronting me the money to even BUY a new house to begin with. <3 yew much girl

On to other things... last night was pretty damn fun, I stayed up late drinking Jose n Redbull at Sanctuary Rock, I got pretty effed up n just passed out. It was good to be able to relax and drink around friends & acquaintances again without having anything to actually go out and do, just sip and ease my mind from all the frustrating thoughts that have passed through. I've spent entirely too much money in SL the last two weeks but it has kept me busy and out of trouble for the most part, but I do believe I need to calm down on the spending now especially since my house is actually done, HOO!

It has been rather lonely in SL, but on the other hand it really hasn't been that bad, I've made a ton of new friends and planting my ass at SR has been pretty entertaining, I just love the people there ^_^. I've almost felt completely lost the last few months, I never know what to do anymore so I always wind up hanging out at SR all day, which isn't totally bad, but I would like to broaden my horizons a bit and get away from the same old routine. I would LOVE to get back into DJing on a daily or even weekly basis but I am having technical difficulties with my hard drives >.<. I recently upgraded my Operating System drive to a 500 gig SATA and kept my 2 160 IDE drives in just in case i needed to grab something. But the other day I was going t remove my old OS IDE Drive and just keep the one IDE drive with all my music on it but.... that was a total failure. The 500 gig SATA fails to boot with just one IDE drive and it is driving me NUTS! ARGH!!!!!!!!! The only way I can use my IDE Slave is to hook up my IDE master and it works fine, but I really don't want 3 hard drives running in my PC, there's entirely too much heat in there as it is. I've configured the jumpers and BIOS settings properly when I remove the IDE master and keep the slave... but it still doesn't want to act right.. *sigh* Moving on.... /end geek talk 101

Other than the above... my SL has been pretty bland lately, not a whole lot going on in my virtual world aside from spending too many damn lindens xD *cracks whip* Now gtfo of my blog before i drop kick you in the tonsil! kkthxbaiseeyounexttime

New Home!

New Beginnings call for new homes! My latest project and one that is consuming a majority of my time would be my new home, I went for something WAY different than I normally went with, more of a high end modern look, which I must say I am in love with. The texturing itself is simply amazing and nothing like I've seen in Second Life before, but as everyone knows, I've been a Second Life hermit for the past few months. I figured it was time to update my home again, not to mention it would help me clear my head and give me something to do, so I hope you enjoy the pictures! It does look a a lot better in person, so if you have the urge to see it just get in touch with me and I will give you a personal tour & you could possibly help me decide what else to put in it, it's still pretty empty considering I had to buy all new furniture but I am slowly working on touching it up. I would love the extra criticism and ideas =)

Play Room....

Play Room ..::Again:..

Empty bedroom....

End of the hallway

First Hallway

My living room

Dark Dreams.... Dark Thoughts

Walking on top of the world is how it felt, just faultless and astound in all ways. More than mere words could ever explain, an experience gain with every step. Exploring worlds I never thought existed or could ever imagine in my wildest dreams. Each stride captivated my interest, only looking back to catch a glimpse of the past as I strutted into a complete bliss. Divine Intervention... the only thing capable of breaking my gaze apart from what stood ahead. Smashing and ripping my way through anything that dared to stand in my way, dominating the battlefield of reality with my very fists, and kicking down barricades with my bare feet. I felt unstoppable, I felt like a GOD ready to take on an eternity of evil. Replenishing my rage by feeding on the weak, my sight was keen and carried on into the distance ahead, leaving a warpath behind me like a giant paving it's way through a thick forest searching for it's last meal. Beaten and torn, but undoubtedly overwhelmed with an intense desire to push forward through anything... or anyone for that matter. It was my world for the taking and I had the will power to obtain it.

Subsiding my adventure into a dark hole when I could bare no more, I lodged my body into resting, sending my mind into serenity only to be awakened by horrid dreams within my Subconciousness. I was a walking phenomenon, constructing my own way through life, dependent on nothing but my very being to carry myself further. The skies above slowly turned into darkness, concealing my vision to the vast landscape ahead, blurring my perception as it made me entirely helpless for the first time. I could feel my soul being ripped from me, making me weak as I felt my hands overpowered and bound beneath me. Pure darkness obstructed my senses as I fell into a complete hell, whipped and beaten as I was lifted from the ground below, my once horrid dreams were quickly becoming reality. Hours upon hours I was carried without consent, it felt like a dozen or more little minions that tortured my physical mass while being carried into the unknown. Whips lashed across my external covering, as well as twigs and massive chains that could only seem to be held by giants. My body writhed under the hands of many, struggling and trying to break free to defend myself, it was a complete failure every time that inflicted more pain upon my body.

The air soon became more dense and irked with the stench of the dead, the presence of evil grew stronger with every lasting minute, sounds of the underground emitted through my ear drums as I could hear water cascading down bends, twists, and the bindings of pipes. Frightening screams echoed through what seemed never ending hallways as an eerie percussion of a cell door rung loud into my brain. A quick change in direction shot an excruciating pain into my spine, my body being slammed into a bulwark as my head recoiled off of it. My wrists were free once more, but still conquered by a relentless creature as frigid steel slipped over my wrists which bound to short chains. A massive hand stretched over my entire head as the woven fibers were removed from the apex of my carcass. A monumental being stood before me incased by a dark shadow from the blinding light behind it, my direct peripheral vision was blurred from my once dilated pupils but before they could contract and adapt, the beast was absent.

I sat there more humiliated than ever, strapped in the corner of this god forsaken cell that reeked an unbearable smell, a steamy liquid substance slowly escaped between the cracks within the molded rock that were stained red from what looked like old blood. Across from me laid the remains of something else that was once chained down, the skeleton was not that of a human, but of a smaller creature whose deformities were of nothing I’d ever gazed upon. Lowering my shame back to the floor where I was forced into submission I realized my years of reeking havoc have come to an end. I rested my head against the hard rock surface but bound to a corner that was all I could do, the chains around my wrists were short so the only posture I could resume was an upright one which was very uncomforting. Days past and I became weary, discomforted, and very weak, not much to anyone’s likes by any means.

One dreadful night I was suddenly awakened from my sleep, the steel cuffs were displaced from my wrists vigorously as I was dislodged from my corner and thrown over a massive shoulder. I balled my fists and pounded on the enormous beast attempting to break myself free with no luck, only increasing his fury towards me, slamming his shoulder into the wall, smashing my body between the two sending scrutinizing pain into my already sore back that put me into an unconscious state.

**To Be Continued**

Here We Go!

So "\o/" for this whole new blogging thing, kind of excited to to have a place specifically made to put my thoughts, I really should have started this a long time ago considering the amount of writing in general I have done the past few months whether it be poetry, literotica, rants, or just a simple story.

But first off welcome to my new blog =D I'll more than likely be putting all of my writing in here just because I can and so I can occasionally force people to read it when I get in a demanding mood. \m/(>.<)\m/ I guess the newest thing going on in my Second Life is change... and a lot of it from just about every angle. Some good and some not so good but not totally bad either.. just kinda bleh stuff. Some of the topics I will be touching down on are a little personal and still quite touchy to say the least so take it easy on me. For those of you that don't already know... my real life girlfriend plays Second Life as well, I brought her here a good while ago. While a lot of you will think that is a wonderful idea for obvious reasons... and it was for awhile. Those of you that know me know that (at the time) I was partnered to Betty and you can just guess how that went xD And yea it went that way... haha. I can laugh about it now but at the time it was a rough patch to go through although I won't go into details. But like most people, Second Life is my "escape" from reality and I never anticipated my real life girlfriend getting addicted to SL and spending just as much time here as I did, but I can't blame her, it's a wonderful world filled with tons of cool people, after 2 1/2 years of SL I should have known the direction it was going to go. So after several bumps in the road in SL and RL things did manage to calm down for the most part, although both lives took a pretty big hit & of course things started to change in both worlds, and again I won't go into detail. But for now I will say I have my Second Life "escape" is back and I don't feel like I'm being kept tabs on by reality on a daily basis which makes me feel 100% better.

And now here recently Betty and I have split up, which I think several people saw it coming, at least those I talk to on a daily basis anyways. I'm still dealing with it and it's not the easiest thing I have ever had to do to say the least. The last year for Betty and I have been really rough and there were no signs of anything getting better so it's best to just let go and move on so that's what we decided upon. I will truly miss her and all the fun we've had together, it's been an incredible 17 months that will never be forgotten or replaced.

Lastly I will be doing a few double posts, planting down some of my stories and Literotica to give my blog a little spunk so keep watch and I hope you enjoy =D